A driving concept in America is that of the "self-made" man . . . the Jay Gatsbys, the Victor Von Dooms, the Donald Trumps. They come from poor, humble beginnings and accomplish great things. Their drive is admirable; one cannot contest their achievements.
The self-made man has a well-deserved sense of pride, and few have sympathy for under-achievers. "If I did it, why can't you?" they seem to ask. "Pull yourself up by your boot straps and get a job." They hold everyone to their own standards.
That's arrogance in its truest sense. There is false arrogance - a person holding others to a standard he himself does not meet - but I actually believe it's pretty rare. Most people that come off as "arrogant" easily back their claims. The scientist really is better at math than you; the critic really does write well; the jock really can outrun you. They aren't arrogant because they do something better than you . . . they're arrogant because they've made you aware of it.
It doesn't need to be intentional or explicit. A person doesn't need to be a braggart to be called arrogant . . . though it doesn't hurt. It's an inversion of modesty, and a person can be arrogant by example by holding himself to a standard that others can't meet. At its heart, it's a term of jealousy as much as annoyance.
"Arrogance" is always a negative term. Why? It reflects the attitude of a weaker person, and represents a value barely distinguishable from pride. Why are individuals that strive to be better seen as rude, instead of admirable? Shouldn't any idealist be arrogant? How can the world change if no one exposes its faults?
The answer is judgment. Pride asserts by its own devices, while arrogance asserts by comparison. It is not "strong;" it is "stronger than" or even "strongest." Real arrogance is active. One asserts superiority.
Still, it's curious that in many "likes" and "dislikes" sections of dating profiles (seen occaisionally on television or if you're bored enough to read a bad magazine), arrogance is one the most universally disliked features.
I believe it reflects two factors of our society. First, a universal arrogance. Everyone likes to be king of his castle. No one plays second fiddle. Who likes to be upstaged in their own mind? (This, I think, also leads to a dissonant concept of exhange: "if a person is strong, they shouldn't be smart, and if they are, they have a poor personality.") Second is my most widely-preached issue: this society is nearly devoid of accountability. People do not take stock of themselves - do not take responsibility for their behavior.
It's odd that I, a person generally striving against tradition and either-or perceptions, find myself fairly loyal to a sense of justice. I believe in people accepting responsibility for their actions. No conditions, no excuses. The judgement of circumstances is for other people, not the individual. It's a humble quality our culture lacks.
Now, to the heart of it: I'm arrogant. We ALL are. Some more than others, but all of us make judgements of others. All of us agree or disagree with a what a person does. It isn't wrong or right. It's a fact of life. Others decide your arrogance by whether or not you reveal it, and how.
I tell you to your face. It's the way I express my beliefs. I don't like people ignoring their faults. I don't like people being comfortable. I don't like complacency. You're welcome.
Now, it's bold, but is it arrogance? To me, it's not arrogance unless I ignore my own faults. I try not to. I have no motivation and little tolerance, to name a couple. I work hard at them, and to be conscious of them, but I've yet to master introspection.
And that's the point. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, right? Wrong. Because everyone has a fucking glass house. You don't need to be without sin to throw a rock; you just need to be prepared to take a few yourself. At least - and forgive my intertwined allusions - you'll find out how many windows you have. And for Buddha's sake, maybe you'll find the time to fix a few.
So that's my beligerent "fuck you" to the world. If I'm stronger than you, I'm going to tell you. If I'm not, I want to be. Because I'm not satisfied with the way things work, and I'll expose every crack in every wall that I find. I'm ALWAYS wrestling with the log in my eye, but I can still see the splinter in yours.
Of course, one should be careful not to speak out of place. Is it valid to criticize a mother's choices if you're not a mother yourself? Can you legitmately judge a household if you don't belong to the family? If you're not a passenger in a car, and you're not being endangered by it, should you complain about the driving? Judge if you must, and you do, but remember your place if you voice it. Your opinion may have no weight.
"Arrogance." It's a word used by the weak when the strong make them look bad. Can't we save it for the people that think they're better than they are?
They only truly arrogant thing is to refuse to listen to someone. To believe that you can ignore a voice because it says something you don't like. Shutting out what you don't want to hear.
That I can't excuse. It's beneath contempt.
Clarity comes with maturity. If you'll excuse me, I have a brother-in-law to headbutt.
Because he's weaker than me, and knows not of conviction.
