Delays and Frustrations

My computer and I have a love-hate relationship. It's basically a cute but retarded child, doing its best to please me but failing miserably. It also has its share of speech impediments.

Usually, I'm greeted with a gentle "whiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrr," but yesterday I got a more eager "gggkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!" Still equating the computer to a retarded child, I slapped it until the noise stopped. Problem solved, I guess.

Well, nothing's ever that simple. The "gggkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk" returned, louder than before. I gave the laptop another soft beating and it finally stopped.

Only . . . the "whiiiiiirrrr" stopped, too.

Within twenty minutes my computer shut itself down. The cooling fan has shat itself to death.

I had to drive home and borrow a laptop from my Dad. After a good 6 hours of hassle, I got it connected to the college network. I am officially a full weekend behind on my online assignments.

Ugh.

On the brighter side, the paper I was writing came back with an "A." I continue to amaze myself.
Lesson learned: if you want a good grade, do the assignment at the last moment possible. It somehow comes out better.

Great life skills indeed.


Meanwhile, the springtime sun grants me more energy, making me more impatient and reminding me how goddamn bored I am. I'm done with this semester, this nonsense, and this life. I think tommorow I will be a cowboy.

I've reached that wretched point where it's time to assess my skills, determine my value as a commodity, and start planning a career. Sadly, I feel ready to retire. I still expect someone to pay me for being awesome. With large bags of money. Every time I breathe.

Fuck, I'll probably start slacking with that, too. And they'll decide they need a younger man to do my breathing. Someone with moxie. Someone that can do the job in a cautiously ambitious manner, a manner that everyone can agree is impressive.

Welcome to the world. Bleed something interesting, take your cancer, and sit down.